How do you stay confident when things are drying up around you?
A friend of mine is facing a
tough situation. His job is drying up and drying up fast. He has four kids and
a wife and the equity in his home has dwindled greatly over the past few
months. He would prefer to stay where he is but job prospects here are
non-existent. He is facing the possibility of moving to another locality either
in the interior of B.C. or even changing provinces in order to make a living
and provide for his family. He is concerned about his kids as to how they will
do in a new community and how well they will adapt to making new friends. His
wife just got a part time job and she is thrilled with it. She is just getting
back into the work force after being a stay at home mom for the past 15 years.
A move will be a big adjustment for her as well. What to do?
How do you stay confident
when your world as you know it is shaking and major changes are needed?
Jesus once told his disciples
that they would know the truth and the truth would set them free (John 8:32).
He says in this context that if we hold to his teachings the truth will set us
free. Part of that freeing is when the truth begins to penetrate our thoughts
about ourselves and our situations.
Counselors and Psychologists
will tell you to “tell yourself the truth” and what you tell yourself about
yourself and your situation has a serious impact on your emotions. What you
tell yourself about your situation will trigger other thoughts that are related
to that very thought you spoke and so a train of thoughts can begin to gather
and take you somewhere. You must decide if that destination, that mindset, is
where you want to go.
What can we be telling ourselves that will take us to confidence and calm rather than
anxiety and worry and indecision?
Firstly: Keep your heart warm rather than cold.
When I was 20 years old I had
an anxiety attack that would not go away. I was not a Christian and entered
into a state of ongoing anxiety such that if I was reading a book I could not
remember what I had read at the top of the page when I got to the bottom of the
page. I finally left university and got a job. During that year I accepted
Christ and finally went back to school. During this next year I had many
moments when I would feel overwhelmed while trying to study alone in my
apartment. Not knowing what else to do I would take a hymnal down from the
shelf and start to sing every hymn that I knew—sometimes over and over—until I
calmed down.
Here is the principle: Worship your way into a state
of calm. Use your MP3 player to
refresh yourself with praise. Eat it like food. Stir up the Holy Spirit within
you and keep him stirred up. He loves to worship. Keep it hot inside and this
helps to clear the fog of lies from your mind.
Secondly: Remind yourself that all your sins have been
forgiven and cast as far away as the
east is from the west. All of your sins from the past and all of your sins of
the future have been already forgiven through the shed blood of the cross. Proclaim
it over yourself. No need to second guess yourself and God. When we sin we
simply need to admit it to God and to ourselves. We don’t need to come to God
and beg him for his forgiveness. It is a finished work! What Jesus did on the
cross is entirely enough. No moaning or begging God to forgive you. It is done.
For you there will be no judgment of your sins in the future. When you face the
Father of Lights he will welcome you and embrace you with a lovely smile
because all your sins are gone. Your works will face his light of truth but you
yourself will be in perfect peace, complete peace because you, yourself are
completely clean of all sin. So no rehearsing of the past and your past
failures before him or in your own mind. All is well with him.
Thirdly: Take authority over all labels that you have
received from other people and instead proclaim God’s truth over yourself and
your situation. Even positive labels
can be deceiving. Renounce them in Jesus name. Our identity is safe with Jesus.
In him we are called “My beloved son or daughter in whom I am well pleased”.
That was the word that was spoken over Jesus as he came out of the water and we
are in him and no one can ever take us out of him. This is our true identity.
Any other negative or positive labels that do not line up with that word we
consider to be lies of the enemy and we will not receive it in Jesus Name.
Again ever positive labels can lead you to build your worth on such a word
instead of building on the words of Jesus. Satan wants us to build on anything
else but Jesus. Compliments are fine. Labels however are another matter. We can
privately send them to the cross in Jesus name. When faced with a painful
situation announce that over any dark word about you that comes to mind. You
are a child of the Light and you will live in the light even if others wish to
live in their own darkness. The flip side of this is to proclaim the truth over
yourself as to what God’s plans are for you. Say it out loud regularly during
your day. This is who I am and this is what God is leading me into. Picture
what you are heading towards and put that into words. Stay focused here. You
can choose where your mind is to stay and where it is to rest.
Fourthly: Remind yourself that God only invites you to
ask and he responds to your need.
Sometimes we can get an exaggerated view of faith thinking that we need to full
of faith to hear from God or to receive from him. This is not the message of
the New Testament. Jesus tells us that faith as a grain of mustard seed will move
a mountain and cause it to be cast into the sea. A friend of mine was so worn
out from running his restaurant that he knew he had to sell it. He kept praying
until one day he told his wife “You pray I must simply go to work. That is all
I can do. That is all the energy I have.” He went to work and all he could say
to God was “I believe that Jesus lived and died and rose again”. He would
repeat this to himself all day long and simply go about his work. That was all
God needed. His restaurant sold for much less that he wanted. But then through
an unexpected inheritance for exactly what he had lost, he was able to repay
his loan at the bank. The point is this: Jesus accepted the thief on the cross
when he said simply “Remember me...” and so it is with us. What father on earth
would need anything more from a son who is in trouble? Jesus says “Keep on
asking” meaning continue to keep leaving your need before God. Your prayers can
be extremely simple.
Fifthly: Do what is in front of you to do. Jesus, when faced with the 5000 people that needed
feeding says to his disciples “What do you have?” The question is still there
today. What do you have to begin with in this situation? They only had five
loaves and two fish. That is where they began. Everything begins with a small
beginning. Be prepared to do what is before you to do and start there.
Sixthly: Forgive everyone every thing all the time. This is very basic but you need to realize that
bitterness can and will slow you down and distract you from hearing and following
God’s voice and direction. If necessary
write a letter to the person who wronged you and include all of the feelings
that you have felt from what happened. Do not send it to them. Rather read it
out loud to a trusted friend and then choose to forgive the wrong doer in front
of your friend allowing your friend to be your witness to your cleansing
action. Jesus said you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
Some things need to be not simply known in our heads but owned with our lips and
out loud with another present. James 4 mentions calling the elders of the
church and owning the truth with them at times. Even a friend will do when we
need to own what has gone down and who needs to be finally forgiven. Realize
that forgiveness may need to be given every single time this comes up in your
mind over and over again. But there will come a day when this wound will be
healed and you will realize that the pain is gone and somehow you do not think
about it anymore.
Lastly: Keep up your exercise routines and healthy
patterns of de-stressing. Walk your
dog. Play with your kids. Rent comedies and laugh often with your wife or
husband or friends. Know that cleansing the body is important during times of
stress. Your routines are important. Keeping them or letting them slide is an
important indicator of what is happening inside. The minute you find yourself
cutting them out you need to ask yourself what am I feeling right now? Have I
believed a lie about myself or my future? Deal with it immediately and return
to calm, relaxed place with God and keep doing what you can do to move things
forward.
Brian Headley
